Ms Cindi Betzina shares the adventures and lessons she learnt from spending more than 30 years in the insurance fraternity – as the wife of Mr Fareed Lutfi of the Emirates Insurance Association.
Many people think a “corporate wife” is just the glorified title of a housewife who flits from business reception to gala dinner with her corporately employed husband, smiling and making small talk along the way. While our husbands are strategising with their cohort of executives on how to take their company to greater heights, we wives do our best to make the rest of their lives run smoothly. But what else do we pick up along the way?
“Get a pair of good shoes you can stand in for hours, and learn the art of small talk, because 90% of our industry involves standing and socialising.” I think the ageing Chairman of CT Bowring took pity on me when he gave me this sage advice back in 1982. I was a young newlywed attending my very first insurance reception which was held in a prestigious restaurant in London’s Chelsea neighborhood. It was a very fancy affair, but I knew no one, I was the only wife in attendance, and it was oh so boring. As a 20-something wife in a room full of bright-eyed insurance trainees who were all focussed on discussing insurance matters of the day, I must have looked incredibly bored. On top of that, the sky-high heels I was struggling to stand in were killing my feet as I shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other!
I knew the moment those words of wisdom were imparted to me that if I was going to survive my husband’s chosen career path and my marriage, I was going to have to find some way to find interest in two things I had not really considered before that night – shoes that were comfortable to stand in, and the “grey” industry of insurance!
A curious insurance wife
While my husband devoted his life to the insurance industry, I, the corporate wife, or in my case “an insurance wife” devoted mine to taking care of the rest of our lives. Beyond the Herculean feat of multi-tasking – raising children, school runs, and homemaking chores – I have proofread countless lectures, critiqued numerous speeches, attended a plethora of conferences, seminars, receptions, openings and rebrandings, and met and hosted some of the region’s industry leaders. In doing so, I have made some great and trusted friendships, many going well beyond their professional origins of years gone by.
But alas, I’ve also been a curious insurance wife! After overhearing some talk at a reception or across the dinner table, I would remember the unfamiliar phrase or topic and research it the next day. I would question my patient husband, and he would wonder where I had heard that or why I wanted to know about it. My response is always: “It is something I’ve never heard before and I want to understand what it means.” I would also tuck this information away so that I could relate it to what was being discussed around me at industry functions.
I actually read the industry literature that lies around his home office. Many of the faces looking back at me from those pages are individuals I have known for over 30 years. Most people who I witnessed starting their careers and growing in the business world are now executive management. I have probably listened to hundreds of speeches and proudly watched as people we call friends have risen through the ranks of the industry. I often remind my husband of being that young, newly married graduate trainee and his wife who whispered together with awe and respect at top management eloquently speaking from the podium without written lecture or speech!
Over the course of the decades, this curiosity has led me to a somewhat worthy understanding of the various sectors and intricacies of the insurance industry. Mind you, I’m not tooting my own horn, and I certainly would not begin to assume I have any professional knowledge, but I think I can hold a fairly respectable conversation on a multitude of insurance topics. The industry journalist who enlisted me to write this feature was completely caught off guard when I shared my knowledge about corporate governance and Solvency II over dinner one evening at the regional launch of a reinsurance player.
As the wife of an insurance man, I get asked insurance questions from friends and relatives quite often. Sometimes I know the answers, sometimes I have to ask. Mostly, I have been able to guide family, friends and neighbours in making insurance a little bit easier for them to understand (because we all know it can be a complicated mess to the layman). Maybe I have played a part in making insurance a little less intimidating to these people.
The insurance family
Having lived away from our respective biological families for a good portion of our married life, our children have been raised in the region’s insurance circle. Our friends were always industry colleagues and their families – some friendships go back to my husband’s infant steps in the insurance field. These are people we are in regular contact with, and my kids consider some of the region’s top insurance professionals as close family, not just their daddy’s workmates. We have shared life’s ups and downs through the years with these industry decision makers.
Our kids got a solid insurance foundation after a lifetime of having these executives play with them as young children, congratulate them at their birthday parties and attend their wedding celebrations. When the midwife rushed out of the delivery room to announce the arrival of our last child, she was perplexed to find a group of men anxiously waiting to hear the news, not one of them the father! Yes, while my husband was away on an unavoidable business trip, I was escorted to hospital and taken care of by a group of our insurance family members. These trusted men hovered about nervously waiting for the news of good health and safe passage. It is an enduring and comical memory, and the photos are priceless!
Quiz nights
Now that our children are grown (our two oldest are insurance professionals working their way up the proverbial corporate ladder and defining their own paths in the industry), often the conversation around our dinner table is related to insurance. In an attempt to keep some semblance of “normal” family dinner conversation, at times I have to intervene and demand we choose a non-insurance topic for discussion!
When our daughter was studying for her CII exams, the dinner table became a quiz night as she asked her father to test her on various exam-related topics. I allowed this to take place over dinner and beyond only if, almost game-show style, whoever raised their hand first was chosen to answer first. Sometimes I wasn’t as fast as her, but often I was allowed to verbalise my answer first, especially as it became a bit of a shock to them that I was able to answer the questions comprehensively and mostly quite correctly! What I didn’t know we got to discuss and learn as she continued her studies.
A full-colour spectrum
But the adventures have always gone further than our dinner table. Over the years, while attending the big GAIF or FAIR conferences, I have seen some amazing corners of the world, and met many “insurance wives”. We look forward to catching up with each other at these affairs. Generally, we all enjoy the programmes for spouses as we share the latest news and photos of our children, or pass on news of the milestones in life. We have a history together, yet meeting new spousal delegates allows the camaraderie to evolve. It is always very cordial. I remember being a young wife and looking at the veteran insurance wives in awe. They seemed to know so many people at these functions. It’s rewarding to look back and realise that now I’m one of those “veterans”.
At the GAIF Conference in Morocco last May, I was terribly excited to meet a friend that I hadn’t seen since we lived in London over 25 years ago. I so wished he had brought his wife, but it was lovely to hear all their news and revisit some very special memories, rekindling a friendship that started from the earliest stages of our married life and of course, the early days of my husband’s insurance career!
I’ve been fortunate to have an insurance husband who has been patient enough to entertain my constant questioning and probing of “his” field, turning it, for me, from a “grey” profession to a full-colour spectrum of intrigue.
I’ve also been blessed to have a husband who has indulged my continuing search for a very large collection of comfortable shoes!
Ms Cindi Betzina has been married to Mr Fareed Lutfi, Secretary General of Emirates Insurance Association and Group Director - Insurance Services, Dubai Holding for 32 years. Together they have three adult children and have lived in London and Bahrain, and now reside in Mr Lutfi’s homeland, the UAE.